You really care about your significant other but your long distance relationship might be getting exhausting. It takes a lot to maintain a LDR and if you make these mistakes, your relationship might not last as long as you think.
Here are 10 Mistakes You Are Making In Your Long Distance Relationship
1. Having Less Confidence/Faith In Your Relationship
People love saying that long distance relationships never work. They will have their own stones to throw at your relationship. You shouldn’t take this to heart. Just because it didn’t work for them doesn’t mean it won’t work for you. But we get it, all that negativity gets to you and you begin to doubt your own relationship and your significant other. You can sometimes take it out on your partner and cause unnecessary fights. Worry about the journey you and your partner are on, and ignore the haters.
2. Not Trusting Your S.O Enough
Trust is the foundation of every relationship; this is nothing new right? However, this issue is amplified in an LDR. Being away from each other springs a thousand insecurities into your life, and the existence of that new girl he hangs out with is a constant reminder of the fact that you aren’t there to do the same. So, what do you do? You overcompensate for the fact by digging into every friendship your S.O has, no matter how much they tell you that they are just friends. Your partner will definitely feel like you don’t trust them and might even express their frustrations with their “friend”, and this will only lead your overactive imagination to give you more anxiety.
3. Not Giving Your Partner Enough Space
Those above mentioned insecurities? Yeah, they can cause a lot more problems. Your constant pecking at every detail of their life can cause your partner to feel as though you don’t understand them and their need for space. This is one of the most common culprits in breaking up the love in an LDR. People have busy lives, and if you keep calling them and overanalyzing every activity of your partner, they can begin to lose their patience, no matter how much they’re in love with you. Make your own schedule, and let them live their own lives too.
4. Losing Your Sense Of Individuality
Yeah, mistakes you make in an LDR are not just limited to how you behave with your partner. Your relationship with yourself and your own life is of utmost importance. Being far away from your loved one will make you constantly think about them, no matter where you are and who you’re with. You might begin to lose friends because they will complain that you are never there with them, mentally. This will disrupt your life, and you won’t be able to get anything done. Love is not about obsessing over your partner. It’s about having your own life and realizing this other person makes it better. Your whole day should not be hanging on that one single text or call from your S.O. This will cause you to lose yourself and you will be wholly consumed by your relationship which might be a primary reason for why you make all those other mistakes.
5. Not Giving Your Partner Enough Time
If being too “obsessive” towards your relationship is bad, so is being too aloof. People are right. Long distance is indeed hard. It is difficult to express your love over social media platforms all the time. The fact that you can’t see your significant other at all for long durations of time can cause a lot of problems that normal relationships don’t face as much. Your partner would feel insecure, and that is not something they can ALWAYS control. So, show them some love! Show that you care! Where a simple adoring sideways glance at them would have been enough to assure them of your love, where just holding their hand would make them feel secure and cherished, being thousands of miles away from each other robs you of all these little moments. Not being empathetic and not caring enough to give time to your partner can make you seem aloof and make your partner feel as though you don’t quite love them.
6. Not Putting Enough Effort In Your Relationship
Since you are so far away from each other you have to put aside time for your partner, and you have to be understanding of their emotions and insecurities. Jealousies are sometimes unavoidable. Make sure you are attending to your partner’s emotional needs and doing special little things to show them you care, and that you care whole a lot! You have to put more effort in your LDR than in a normal relationship. There are many ways to make your partner feel special even when miles apart: letters, gifts, regular calls, etc are just some examples.
7. Not Investing Equally, Financially
Meeting each other is quite an ordeal, and if you’re in love, there’s only so much time you can go without seeing your S.O. Unfortunately, that results in your pockets shrinking noticeably, especially if you live really far away. Now this shouldn’t be an issue in a normal relationship, but sometimes in a long distance relationship, one person can end up spending a lot more than the other. This can cause unnecessary disputes. Make sure you understand your partner’s financial situation before planning any trips.
8. Not Having Enough Self Control
It’s human nature to feel attraction, even when we are in a relationship. Since your partner is so far away, their ever so attentive eyes aren’t there watching everything you do. You might feel a rush of freedom and urges to indulge in recklessness. Even if you don’t feel that way, others may label you as single just because your partner isn’t hovering around physically. Some may make a move on you, and if you don’t have enough self control, you may sometimes feel like responding. Know that this would be a huge mistake. Make sure you let people know you are taken. In a LDR, where trust is of utmost importance, you should respect your partner’s faith in you and your relationship and avoid any flirtations just because you feel lonely. If you love your partner enough, you would never want to hurt them. If you don’t restrain yourself in these weak moments, you could destroy your relationship forever.
9. Not having a mutually agreed upon goal
In a long distance relationship, there needs to be some goal to take the long distance out of your relationship. After you’re done with school, once you find a new job, once paperwork goes through? You both need to know that there is some sort of endgame to the distance between you do. Once you both know the goal, you have to try and work towards the goal.
10. Taking your partner for granted
A long distance relationship is still a relationship. It’s very easy not to do romantic things for your significant others just because they’re not there. However, treat your partner the same as if they were here. Would you get them flowers for an anniversary? Send them flowers. Would you dress up for date night? Do your makeup and/or hair the same for a video chat. These littles things make all the difference to make your partner feel special.
What mistakes do you try to avoid in your Long Distance Relationship?
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