Dating doesn’t always prepare you for a long distance relationship. Here are some things no one might have told you about being in an LDR.
Long distance relationships are not easy, but if you are ready to put enough effort, it could definitely work. These kinds of relationships are more frequent than you think with social media and technology, so you are definitely not alone. There are many LDRs that work pretty well so keep that in mind.
Just set your goal, define what you want, and what you are willing to sacrifice. You do have to be realistic as a couple. Is there an end date to the distance between your long distance. When school ends, when one finds a job, when one has the means to move?
When you first get into a long distance relationship, it can be exciting as well as overwhelming (and a little bit lonely). Here are some things that no one tells you about long distance love.
Things To Expect When You’re In A Long Distance Relationship
You become attached to your phone
With long distance love, each partner becomes attached to their phone. You may find yourself having a charger as school or work, in you car, and at home. It helps to help up with all of the communication you guys will have. Remember to take few breaks and enjoy things outside of the screen to help keep the balance in your life.
You have to answer awkward (and sometimes, rude) questions
These questions might come from family, friends, and strangers. “Are you worried that he or she will cheat?” “Why can’t you find someone in-person to be with?” “What do you do when you’re horny?” These are all awkward questions to receive and to answer. If you can’t find a polite answer, just explain that it is none of their business.
Jealousy occurs all the time
This is common for all relationships, but even more prevalent in LDRs. You’re not just jealous of the random people flirting with your significant others. You can become jealous of the other couple that has the perfect in-person relationship, or jealous of your partner’s friend who get to spend all the time with your love, and you can’t.
When you are aware of fact that your partner is hundreds of miles from you, you start wondering if there is something you don’t know about them and their life. It is much harder you don’t live in same city so there is no one who can tell you what your partner is up to. Before commiting yourself to an LDR, ensure that you have a lot of trust in one another.
Not every meeting is going to be magical
Separated partners appreciate better moments when they are together, but that doesn’t mean it’s going to be perfect ever time you’re reunited. Sometimes reunions are just full of arguing and you just stick out the trip because you have to. Then there are times, when your time together goes from extravagant dates to just doing nothing. You guys as a couple just sit around and don’t do anything special (and that can be okay too). Be sure to manage each other’s expectations whenever you have special time together.
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Define your relationship from the start
Long distance love is unique in that it is expected that you will have a meaningful talk about the long term goal of the relationship. This is in contrast to in-person relationships where you could be casually dating, and the conversation to commit to one another comes up later. If you’re going to be in a LDR, you guys talk about the future almost immediately. Be fair to yourself and to your partner. Tell what you expect from relationship and ask your partner to do same thing.
You might gain even more friends
Since you guys might have different social networks in different cities, you might meet new people every time you visit. There’s also a variety of online forums and facebook groups for you to join to help celebrate or lament in the joys and sadnesses of long distance relationships.
You may idealize your partner
When you don’t see each other every day, then the probability of idealizing partner is much higher. You don’t see each other often so you don’t notice the drawbacks or quirks of your partner if he or she doesn’t show them to you. Why is this important? Well, nobody is perfect and once you decide to live together, you will start to notice these tiny things that may bother your. Examples are leaving clothes all around house, leaving lights turned on, forgetting about closing door, etc. So better speak honestly about each others’ quirks and try to have them on mind when you do decide to change to an-person relationship.
Relationships without physical touch are hard
There are many things you do in long distance relationships which makes your relationship special, but sometimes you feel that nothing can substitute real touch. It’s true that you can see each other on video and that you meet time to time. But once you realize that you cannot get a comforting hug from partner or a sweet kiss, it’s easy to become sad. It is not something unusual and hopefully the distance is temporary. Just be prepared for the lack of physical touch to get you down sometimes. It helps to think about the positive aspects of the relationship and that eventually one day, you two will live together.
Misunderstandings happen frequently
Sometimes, you two will not always understand each other’s messages. When you communicate mainly through text or email, it can be very easy to mis-interpret each other words. If he or she sends you some short message, you’re not sure if that means that he/she is angry, or your partner just doesn’t have time, or something else. You are going to have periods of doubt, but remember that it happens. Just call each other on the phone or Facetime, so you’re able to understand the true tone and connotation of your partner’s message.
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There will be lots of ups and downs
Even if you’re 100% head-over-heels in love with your long distance partner, be prepared for a lot of ups and downs. Sometimes you’re all in on the relationship. Other times you wonder why you are torturing yourself. At times you wonder if this is all worth it. Temptations can come for both parties. No matter how in love you are, you still might be miserable some days.
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