A long distance relationship is as real as any other relationship. Therefore there are bound to be some fights or arguments in it. A fight does not mean the end of a relationship but partners need to know how to solve it as fast as they can so that they do not drag down the relationship. Here are a few ways to handle a fight.
10 Tips on How To Handle Arguments In A Long Distance Relationship
Fight The Right Way
Things can be taken out of context in text messages. Try not to text fight. If it’s a major fight, Get on the video, get on facetime or skype, so you can see and hear each other in real time. Rage texting only leads to more rage.
Clear The Air
Most relationships arguments are a product of a misunderstanding. Ask questions to clarify what each other said or meant. “What did you man when you said this?”, “Is ____ what you want, is that right?”. In the same respect, answer to clarify as well. “When you said this, I took it as ___”
Be Transparent And Direct In Your Communication
When in a long distance relationship, most of the communication in via text, chat, email or phone call. It is easy for a message to be misunderstood. If your partner has hurt you in some way, let them know immediately do not let it slip as this can easily be a ticking time bomb in the relationship. Always choose to be very open with your partner and very transparent.
Think About What You Are About To Send
During a fight, tempers flare up and many people fail to control their emotions and words. Always remember that you are not going to meet your partner at the end of the day so that you don’t get time to explain things to them. Don’t let the argument be more than it is supposed to be. Read through every text or email before you send.
Believe Them When They Say They Are Sorry
Distance means you are not able to see your partner, it also means that you might not be able to see their eyes when they say they are sorry. If your partner admits that they made a mistake and have apologized for it, always believe them and try not to bring up the subject again even when you meet. Accepting their apology shows your partner that you trust them and trust is key in any relationship and especially when there is a distance between the partners.
Deal With The Root Cause Of The Argument
More often than not arguments are caused by a slight misunderstanding or an unaddressed feeling. In a long distance relationship, a fight can crop up just because your partner is feeling insecure. Maybe your partner called you while you had gone dancing and you had not informed them that you will be going out. In order to deal, try to inform your partner of your plans especially ones that can trigger bouts of jealousy.
Get To Know What Your Partner Does Not Like And Avoid Doing It
There are arguments that can be avoided completely. In this kind of relationship, one is not always there to express their feelings about something as soon as it has happened or before. While you are getting to know your partner, try to know his or her triggers and avoid them as much as you can.
Know when to take a break
Some people shut down when they are in a conflict and prefer not to talk when they’re upset. Explain to each other that you might need a 30 minute break. You guys can talk after you both have calmed down. Make sure you guys agree to the break and who will reach out to who when the break is over.
Just because you’re mad at your partner about one thing, it’s not fair to bring up everything else that makes you made, as you’ll blindside your partner and extend the fight even longer. If things have been bothering you, bring it up one at a time throughout the relationship instead of all at once. Pent up frustrations will only lead to more tension that will spill over. Stay focused on the issue at hand before bringing up other things.
Do not forget to learn from the fight
Once an argument is over, try to learn something from it. Always take everything as a learning opportunity. You can easily find yourself learning something new about your partner and knowing how to deal with it.
Never focus on a fight. Choose to forget it as soon as it ends and give more of your attention to the long distance relationship that you have built.
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